I hear it often, “I really should (delegate more, eat less, go to bed earlier, finish that report . . . ).” I’m sure you can fill in the blank with any number of “shoulds” that are written on your to-do list right now. And you know what, that “should” almost certainly won’t move you to action. It will however, likely come happily into your emotional space and sit squarely on your head -- squashing out light, constricting your breathing and just generally leaving you with a huge (and immobilizing) headache.
The very sound of “should” inevitably creates a guerilla (little war) in your mind that is sown from duty and obligation and too often results in feelings of moral failure and guilt.
A “should” statement, as we most commonly (and carelessly) use it, is one of ten cognitive distortions from the cognitive therapy field of psychology. Existing separate from rational problem solving, the 800-lb heft of the automatic “should” is created by obligations we believe family, friends, society (others) have placed on us.
This “should” thing is heavy, uncomfortable and discouraging from the first squeak. Giving voice to a “should” statement is a little like putting on one of those ridiculous sumo wrestler fat-suits you see on game shows, instead of a bathing suit, to swim a mile. Why would you weigh yourself down like that? Well the truth is, you wouldn’t! It’s a ridiculous choice. And therein is the power – CHOICE!
When you feel that “should” get ready to pass your pearly whites and bubble-gum lips (thanks, John Mayer), wage your own counter-attack to its guerilla tactics! Immediately replace “should” with “choose to”, and let the declaration go forth with the power to create context and generate action toward your goal. Wow, what a difference a word (spoken or thought) can make.
Snowman Training: Two days here since I didn’t blog yesterday. Wednesday: logged 4,000 vertical feet on the versa climber (42 minutes) and completed my trekking strength training routine. Total time: 1:15. Thursday, back to lactate threshold intervals: run/row mix. Total time: 1:00.
Thought for the Day: "Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream." ~ Lao Tzu
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